Shaping Our Attitudes

I love the phrase, cultivating an attitude of gratitude.

Its cadence catches the ear; it has a call to action that shows we can work on controlling our thoughts. And, like tending a garden with the right tools and nutrients, we can grow in gratitude.

My first real attempt at shifting my thoughts was in college. My thoughts were so negative and overwhelming; I mainly focused on the things that were wrong with my life. It was getting so bad that one day I found myself writing, "Misery is my company and I am happy all the time." With those words, I knew I needed to change. It was a slow change, but gradually I found I could become more aware of my negativity and search for ways to re-interpret my circumstances.

My next attempt focused on doing more than bearing life's daily burdens. I found myself frustrated and angry with laundry, dishes and cleaning up behind the kids. Then, one day I felt God move on my heart. I knew I needed to change my focus. I needed to feel less burdened by dishes and more grateful for the reasons I have dirty dishes. So, I started praying during these moments, "Thank you, God, for these dishes; it means I had food to eat" and "Thank you, God, for this laundry; I appreciate the clothes we have been able to wear."

But, I have always wanted more than advice to have gratitude. You can not "will" yourself to have a blessed attitude. You must purposefully decide how you will think about the circumstances in your life - and satan tries to make this task nearly impossible. So, bottom line, we NEED God to sustain and re-orientate us, especially in the truly difficult times - job loss, illness, loss of a loved one, during the choking encroachment of depression... to name a few.

God warns us about how difficult satan makes things. In 1 Peter 5:8, Peter viscerally illustrates satan's assault on us as a roaring lion looking to devour. A hungry lion is not gentle with its capture. In the same way, satan wants to decimate our strength and the relationship with our Heavenly Father that Jesus made possible. Satan would be thrilled if we completely turned our back on all that God offers. But, he scores a point and moves closer to his destructive victory when our hope, courage, trust, or reliance on God are shaken. Satan savors when he breaks our will, when we resist reaching out to God, or acting on His plans and commands for us.

Peter goes on to say in verses 10 and 11, "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen (NIV)." With the grace and wisdom of God, the redeeming blood of Jesus, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can grow from your challenges.

My next shift in perspective came when I began observing others. I watched to see how God, their faith, and the Holy Spirit worked in their lives. And, most of all, I began dedicating my time to God's Word, prayer, and allowing Him to guide me. It started with 5 minutes, usually a one verse devotion with some writing that followed. But, over time, I began craving more of God's Word. I started reading and studying His word. I began considering how I could apply His lessons in my life. I had to be careful that I didn't spend too much time comparing myself to others, but rather to listen for where God wanted me to go.

We can use God's word and guidance to orientate our thoughts and actions. We can identify traits in others that we admire and would like to emulate. But, when we focus on comparing ourselves to others, we often forget that the shaping of our faith, perspective, and character is a continual growth process.

Too often, we can see someone who appears to live a calmer life, who seems less rattled by challenges, less likely to fall into the trapping of this world, and we want that peace, NOW. We may even compound the problem by turning these feelings into jabs of self-disappointment. We can lose ourselves in thoughts of what we wish we were or ought to be rather than being proud of how far God has brought us and rejoicing in how big His plans for us are going to be.

But, take heart. This dance of comparisons is not an indication of unworthiness or lack of faith. Even the disciples struggled with comparisons. Luke 22:24 takes us to a moment of unbelievable contrast. Jesus has just broken bread and presented wine as his offering and sacrifice to the disciples for the sinful, broken nature of all humanity. At this moment, He tells the disciples to do this in remembrance of me and provides the symbol of the new covenant that He is establishing (Just as God presented Noah with the rainbow). But, shortly after Jesus bestowed these incredible gifts, the disciples begin bickering about who is the greatest among them. "A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest" Luke 22:24 (NIV).

Our worth, our share of God's kingdom work, and the challenges we face are not comparable. God created general laws and guidelines for all of us but provides each of us with unique skills and abilities (1 Corinthians 12:5-6, 1 Peter 4:10-11, Romans 12:3-8). We should not stand in comparison with others. Instead, we can be encouraged to think, act, and be our best for the benefit of God's kingdom, each other, and ourselves.

We should give ourselves grace for not being as grateful as we would like. With God's grace and strength, we can make it a goal to pursue a better attitude and we can anticipate that once it begins growing, it will start strengthening other areas.

We can ask the Holy Spirit to reveal God's will and help with our thoughts and actions. There is no one perfect recipe for growing in gratitude and accepting life's pain with a blessed mentality.

But it starts with some real honesty...

Does it feel like the world is falling apart? Are you challenged or losing hope? First, let's acknowledge to God (and to ourselves) what we are feeling.

Angry? Afraid? Overwhelmed? Uncertain? Dismayed? Scared? Upset?

God invites us to bring our fears, worries, and uncertainties to Him. I once heard an author say that complaining about God is defiance; complaining to God is a Psalm. God is clear that we can come to Him in all situations with a thankful heart - focused on gratitude, justice, and the lovely details of life with a gentle spirit.

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"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:4-9).

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Even when we feel less than gracious, when we doubt He cares, or when we question whether He even exists, God is strong enough to hear our fears, doubts, and worries. We do not have to pretend with God. Did you catch in the above verse - we can and should come IN EVERY SITUATION. Until the new Heaven and the new Earth are fully established (Revelations 21:1), we have this world, which is broken. And, God wants us to know we need His help and support.

We can desire God's fair and loving justice. But, until things are made whole, we can't avoid difficulties - there will be things outside of our control that will leave us hurt, confused, angry, and upset. We will find ourselves dealing with other people, facing issues including natural disasters, political concerns, and social disagreements that can cause uncertainty. All of this will occur while tackling our own troubles.

How we perceive and hold on to our trials will impact how we react and feel. Each person may have different feelings, but for those who seek God's justice, we know that something is not right with this world.

Paul stated in 2 Timothy 3:2-5 (ESV) that in the last days, "For people will be lovers of

self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful,

unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving

good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of

God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

Paul was making it clear that things will get worse before they get better. Even if this isn't the last days, every day moves us closer to the end times' challenges. But, it also moves us towards the promise of God's kingdom on Earth. What a blessing that we can trust this promise because God has kept other promises; we just have to be patient in the meantime (This is a more in-depth topic for another time).

Jesus gave us some clear instructions on how to orientate our lives so that we can endure. First and foremost, Jesus called us to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He follows up this commandment with love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31, Luke 10:27). This mirrors the commandment in Deuteronomy 6:5.

The information plastered everywhere about our world can be exhausting. We may feel afraid and overwhelmed. We wonder where is common sense and thoughtfulness. We may also wonder how people of faith can come to radically different conclusions than us. Sometimes we wonder what we are missing, though many times we wonder what are they missing.

And, even if you can tune out the barrage of news and opinions, what about our personal lives? Responsibilities and to-do lists. Finances. Health. Mental wellness. Fatigue. Judgment and self-doubt. This barely addresses daily demands and it says nothing about how life is shaped when punched with bad news.

I am not immune to these feelings. Pushing through busyness, fear, and exhaustion leaves me feeling like a crinkled, rolled tube of toothpaste reshaped to obtain its last drops.

Like many, life's daily chaos drains me. I have children with special needs that we homeschool, work, caring for our home, and people in my life that I love that create painful challenges.

And, there have been additional challenges this year. Thanks to COVID, our family business has drastically declined. Two weeks after I decided to follow God's call to embark on this adventure of encouragement, we found out my mom has small cell cancer. About a month later, my grandmother passed away.

So, why do I share this? It isn't to unburden myself - quite the opposite. I have a lot of peace and calm, even with these challenges.

I share a peek into my personal life because I am working on this walk of faith. I don't have all the answers, but I know that God promises that He uses all things for His benefit in His time (Romans 8:28). Since God is good, things that benefit Him will be turned to good.

As I try to encourage you to find the blessings in the mess, I don't want you to think that it comes easy to me. I melt down, I feel burdened, I have times where I fail to cry because the feelings are so overwhelming and then cry over a commercial. But with God's grace, time in His word, prayer, and my willingness to let Him shape me, even though these trials are coming my way, satan has not been able to tackle joy out of my life.

Pause to see the beauty in the chaos, the blessings in the mess, even in the pain. There are so many people struggling and it comes in so many forms. Amid this uncertainty, I leave you with this final thought; we can rest assured - JESUS PRAYED DIRECTLY FOR US!

In John 17, just before Judas betrays Jesus, He starts out praying for the disciples. He prays that they know the truth. "And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent" John 17:3 (NIV).

Then, Jesus switched His focus to us. Two thousand years ago, Jesus prayed that we would remain faithful, live in unity, and see the truth that He taught the disciples, which He told them to carry around to the people.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me" John 17:20-21 (NIV).

Jesus prayed for us because he thought we are worth it. Jesus sealed the promise of eternal life with His blood. He gifted us with so much, including allowing us reconciliation with God. These are reasons enough for me to search for the good in the pain. Jesus wouldn't have gone through the pain and horrible trouble of reconciling us if He didn't value us. God doesn't want bad things for us, but He will use them to get our attention. But remember, satan will use them to try and convince us to look the other way.

We have a choice - we can be in this together - heart, soul, mind, and strength.

These passages reflect the start of the many prayers in my heart that I have for you.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it" 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (ESV).

"May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all" 2 Corinthians 13:14.

AMEN